Love will tear us apart

I'm a hopeless romantic. I love to be in love. I still think it will happen for me, but the other part of me that's a cynic is telling me it's never going to happen. Who's gonna love a girl with another guy's kid? That guy didn't want you-he left. He looked his daughter and former fiance in the eye and still walked out the door. Then there was B. Who didn't want a relationship, just someone to be around while he stayed in Wyoming. Great!  I didn't want anything serious either, but when you stick around for over a year and live with me and my daughter for eight months, it doesn't matter that you didn't want anything serious, you got it. But I guess when the baby isn't yours-you get to leave whenever. No looking back.
But then-there are the guys who look back! Getting emails and texts telling me that you should have married me when we haven't talked like that in over five years! But then telling me "Oh, we're going through a rough patch. . .Sorry." The one person I would have married in a heartbeat if he would have asked. But you know. . .whatever.  I just to wait. . .and wait. . . and wait.
I love my daughter. I love watching everyday discoveries. She loves everything and everyone around her and I don't want her to lose that love. I used to have that. A part of me still does, it just needs to get louder. But the nights are lonely. My bed feels too big and I miss the feeling of arms holding me tight and making me feel like everything is okay.
I'm not one of those girls who needs a guy. I've been single more than I've been in a relationship. I know I can do it on my own. I just hate the lonely feeling.