I feel closure now. Life is going in a brand new direction and I'm excited to see where it's going to take me. I'm running my first obstacle course 5k this weekend and spending time with the people that I love and who love me back. Long story short-B came back for a bit. Got drunk and told me all the pretty words I'd been waiting to hear for so long. But in the end, his hypocrisy and true colors came out and I was able to clearly see that this wasn't my Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack in "Say Anything"). I want. . . no, need, someone who will love me as fiercely as I love them. And respect me and my daughter.
But as much as I want the couple part, I'm putting that on the backburner. I'm going back to school for a Psychology degree-which really worries my daughter's father (in a funny, "I'm going to get into his head" kind of way). And I'm curious to see where this new path will take me. It's amazing to see how much has changed and a lot of it came from seeing B one last time. Well, who knows if it's the official last time- I'm not one for absolutes. After our last fight, I "never" thought I would talk to him, let alone see him ever again. And I did.
Anyway.. . enough about him. The last couple months have given me a new clarity. I know the people I can count on and the ones I can't. I know the people who will lift me up and the people who will push me down. And I know who to make the extra effort for. I've had good fortune and bad, seen friends pass on and friends start new chapters with marriage and children and I know that when it's time for me to get to my new family chapter, I'll know. For now, my new life chapter is beginning. School, work, and working on me. I feel amazing and hope that I continue to feel like that for a long time to come.
